Can you hear me now??

Sometimes I cringe at the sound of my own voice....I mean it, I really can't stand hearing the words that I speak again and again.

"It's time to brush your teeth and wash your face"
"Finish eating so we can get ready for school"
"Turn off the tv and get your shoes on"
"Get in the car and put your seatbelt on"
"Walk faster or you're going to be late"
"Stop dragging your backpack on the ground"
"Stop squeezing the dog"
"I said, pick the toys up off the floor!"
"If I have to tell you ONE MORE TIME"

As each word flows from my mouth I am reminded of all the times I swore that I would never nag my kids and I would never repeat myself. Oh no, I was going to be the mother whose children listened the first time she said ANYTHING!

So what happened? Why is it that my children don't seem to hear my instructions? Why do I need to raise the volume to "yell" before I see results? Is it just me? Do other mothers find themselves rambling and repeating the same things every day? I wonder if it's a reflection of me as a person or of my mothering skills that my children are incapable of obeying my instructions.

Of course the truth is that many mothers have similar struggles, we just seem to be isolated in our moments of true craziness, because we are alone in our hallway trying to move our children mowards a timely exit. But, more than likely at that very instant there are hundreds of thousands of mothers in other locations hollering to their sleeping children that they "better get out of bed right now if they want breakfast", and probably just down the street a mother is reminding her child to put a clean shirt on and warning him to change his dirty socks before his feet stink permanently.

Just this afternoon, I heard a mother on the playground hollering out for her young son to stop playing and start walking with her to the car. I had to check myself for a minute because I could have sworn that the voice was my own. Although that same scenario plays out almost on a daily basis in that very playground, this time it really was another mother whose child shares the same name as my son.

I guess I'm not the only one after all....

Friends for a Season

I was recently at a girl's night to celebrate the impending marriage of a friend of mine. The bride and have known each other since the 7th grade and although we have not stayed close all these years, I am grateful to still have her in my life. (one of the perks of online communication is the ability to re-discover old friends and keep in touch regardless of the distance or busyness of life)

The evening was full of fun and silliness that Mom's can only get away with when their children are safely tucked in at home with a babysitter. And it was really interesting to me to see the diverse friends that we are at this party, and all with the same desire to wish my friend all the best in her new life and help her enjoy every last minute of her single life before joining us (her married friends) on this side of life as a married woman.

Some of the girls at this get-together have known her much much longer than I have and some are newer friends. Her maid of honour has know her since birth, others since kindergarden, I knew her better in high school, some she has come to know through her fiance or her brother, some were related and others are work mates. My point is that the group was like a cross-section of the friendships built over time in the life of one woman.

It has caused me to think this week about all the friendships that have come and gone in my life. I have no friends from birth, other than family members, likely due to having moved homes and schools so much throughout my childhood. I have renewed a few friendships that I once held dear to my heart in my highschool years, I have so many new and wonderful friends that I am eternally grateful that God has brought into my life. But there are some empty spots, and having spent time with this group of friends last week reminded me that sometimes, people grow apart. Sometimes life gets in the way, jobs and new responsibilites widen the distance between us making it ever difficult to maintain close friendships.

But what is it that causes some friendships to stand the test of time, proximity and status in life? Why do some people come into our lives and become embedded into every corner of our hearts, and others will leave a deep impression but will not remain? Were the friendships that didn't last less meaningful? If we were really so close, how could we not keep the connection?

I have come to the decision that the popular internet anecdote is actually true. Some friends will stay for a lifetime, the friendship will grow and thrive no matter what life throws at us. And some friends will be there for only a season, it is a great friendship that meets both our needs for the time being and will have forever changed who we are at some level. But it is best not to try to force the friendship to continue to mean the same thing to both parties.

I have a friend struggling with letting go of her "friend for a season", she knows that they are not in a place where they can ever be the kind of friends that they used to be. The temptation to push the relationship into the familiar box is very real, but the fact is, that the best way to pay tribute to a good friendship is to let it go when the time comes. It is best in order to avoid hurt feelings, unfulfilled expectations and the loss of all the wonderful memories.

So I think back over my friends, both old and new, and I treasure the memories we've had and feel joy at the blessing they were in my life as long as they were there. Some friends I will touch base with only for the major life events, weddings, births, funerals etc and I can be happy for them in their happiness and allow the strength of a remembered closeness to be enough. While some friends, like the one getting married, I will re-connect with and become closer than ever before (kind of like finding a whole new friend) after we have grown and matured in our individual lives. And some friends I look back fondly on, and know that we had a great time together, know that I am probably a better person for having known them and wish them well in all their relationships.

And I will most definitely being holding my newer friends close, cultivating the relationships in order to maintain them as Lifetime Friends!